What To Say After Telling Your Spouse You Want A Divorce
From Tim’s Book, “Why You Don’t Need A Divorce Attorney”
Here is what I tell my clients. Once you have told your spouse you want a divorce, explain to them that you want to try to figure out everything without having to hire an attorney. Tell them that you don’t want to spend a ton of money on your divorce and that you want to try and work it out amicably.
If you guys can at least agree to not use attorneys, you have a good chance of getting through the divorce process on your own with a non-attorney legal service provider like ours.
I then tell them, when they are ready, to make sure that their spouse is directed to our website or to call me so I can have a discussion with them to try to explain the process. I want them to know we are a neutral third party, not here to take sides or represent either party, rather just here to help facilitate the divorce process the best we can. The biggest thing I can help with this at this moment is to put the other spouse’s concerns at ease as quickly as possible.
Don’t Listen To Your Friends
You remember the last time you purchased a car? Then all of a sudden you start seeing that car everywhere? In a similar fashion, once you start going through the divorce process you will undoubtedly start talking about it and whether you want it or not, your friends, relatives and even strangers will start to give you advice and commentary.
Anything from, “you need an attorney” to “I got screwed in my divorce”. People have their opinions and experiences with divorce, but their negative experiences is not what you have to go through.
You and your spouse are in control of the outcome of your divorce. How it starts and how it ends. In my experience, speaking to your friends about your divorce or asking them for advice is generally a bad idea. Nothing ever comes good of it and everything they are telling you is filtered by them.
We all rely on friends and family when going through times like these, so I can’t expect you to listen to me, a stranger, so I will leave you with something you hopefully follow. Take what your friends say with a grain of salt. Listen to them, but then come to your own conclusions.