California Divorce Mediation – Are Women At A Disadvantage?
Tim: Let’s talk about the next myth. Are women at a disadvantage in mediation?
Kind of similar to the domination I guess. Well, I mean I guess that could go either way.
But are women at a disadvantage of mediation? The myth was women are at a disadvantage in mediation.
Lisa: Definitely not. Again, when there is an opportunity for both to sit down and for the mediator facilitator to help with that communication aspect of it, to allow the woman to be able to say things that she wouldn’t be able to say with an attorney present or to say things definitely not alone without anybody because they’re just not speaking, they’re not communicating to the best way possible.
Women are at advantage. It’s advantageous for women to do mediation because they don’t feel like they’re at a vulnerable weaker position.
And if you’re a stay at home mom or a stay at home wife and you haven’t working haven’t been earning the money this is a situation where you can feel like you’re on more equal ground instead of having the husband with the high power attorney.
And then you’re kind of at lost and just kind of have to go with the flow and takes whatever he puts out.
Tim: So mediation more of bringing people to that even grounds.
Lisa: Yes.
Tim: Where they can get through their situation, get through their divorce and come to agreement.
Lisa: And learn how to communicate again.
Tim: Yes.
Lisa: It’s not therapy. But it is a place where you can learn communication skills enough to deal with especially with touchy subjects such as kids.
And what’s going to happen with them. And property and special things that you’ve shared but now you don’t want to share.
So it’s a place where all of that can be discussed and gone over without the conflict and the aggression and the aggressive attitudes.
Tim: So there’s no disadvantage on women?
Lisa: No.
Tim: It’s even playing field for both parties?
Lisa: Yes.
Tim: That’s more than…
Lisa: If anything women, they have an advantage.
Tim: How is that compared to something else?
Lisa: Especially litigation.
Tim: Alright.
Lisa: Especially litigation if they can afford an attorney or the husband has an attorney already.
And he’s the breadwinner which happens quite often especially in this valley where it’s a family oriented community and women are trying to stay home with their kids.
They don’t have the money to get the big time attorney to compete with the other one.
Tim: Okay, so, it’s not an advantage technically speaking in mediation? It’s an advantage financially, I guess?
Lisa: Right.
Tim: Because if someone watching this they may think ‘Oh, I don’t want my wife to manage—‘
Lisa: No! Oh yes, you’re right! Thank you for clarifying that.
So, yes, definitely, exactly no!
Nobody has the advantage except for the person who has the opportunity to come and put everything around and lay it out equally.
Tim: Got you.
Lisa: Yes.
Tim: So I have to say if I was the working spouse and I had all the money and close the accounts and did all those nasty things sometimes people do, mediation would be good because the spouse not working won’t have access with the money nor will be able to get…
Lisa: Right.
Tim: …their attorney to represent their interest and that sort of thing.
Lisa: Right.
Tim: Okay.
