Got Divorced And Now We’re Best Friends And Better Parents
I have heard this said many times by my clients, “After the divorce, we became friends and better parents”
I have heard this so many times that I decided to write about figuring there must be others who went through this or are wondering what the other side of divorce looks like.
Now I don’t have any scientific proof or even case studies, rather what I am relating here is what many clients have told me over the years.
Just yesterday I had a client call me who is in the middle of a divorce who is using our service. I had not heard from him in a month or so (this is common during the holidays) and he called to get the divorce process moving again.
He said that he didn’t feel the need to move forward quickly and that he and his wife were getting along better than ever and even shared the holidays together. Before he could finish his sentence I said, “It is almost like getting a divorce takes the stress off the marriage, right?”.
He thought I was a mind reader. What I said to him instantly hit home and then he repeated exactly what I said then asked how I could possibly know that.
So I told him. I have heard that so many times in one fashion or another where people who are either going through the divorce process with us or have completed their California divorce with us that they have a better relationship with their Ex and their children.
Now I am not saying this is the case for everyone nor am I encouraging divorce or even saying that you will become best friends or better parents by filing for divorce… But it does happen.
I spent about 10 minutes on Google trying to see if there were any case studies or other articles about this, but all I could find were articles talking about how to be friends after divorce and things like that. Nothing about this effect we are talking about here.
So what is it about this connection to our spouse we call “Marriage” that causes such a stress that once we break that tie people are able to get along better? I am sure it could be several reasons, whether it be the financial ties or need to “act” or “behave” married when you really are not feeling it anymore.
Maybe getting the divorce allows you to break those feelings and “act” with your true feelings of just being friends.
I am no psychologist or counselor and I definitely don’t have the answer. Even the client I spoke to yesterday could only relate what was happening, but didn’t know what it was exactly that changed.
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