Divorce Mediation vs. DIY Divorce in San Bernardino County
I’m Tim Blankenship from Divorce661. In a recent video I posted I broke down the real differences between mediation and a do-it-yourself (DIY) divorce specifically for couples in San Bernardino County. If you’re trying to avoid high attorney fees, both options can save money — but they work best in different situations. Below I’ll explain when to choose mediation, when DIY is the smarter path, the common pitfalls people miss, and how Divorce661 can help get your divorce done right and on time.
Quick overview: Mediation vs. DIY
At a glance:
- Mediation: A neutral mediator helps you and your spouse reach an agreement. The mediator facilitates discussions but typically does not prepare or file court paperwork.
- DIY Divorce: Ideal when you and your spouse already agree on all major issues. Someone needs to prepare, file, and follow up on court forms to finalize the divorce.
When mediation makes sense
Mediation is helpful when you and your spouse need structure and a neutral voice to get to an agreement. A good mediator can reduce conflict, focus conversations on priorities, and help both sides compromise. Mediation is excellent for couples who:
- Have unresolved financial or custody issues and want a guided negotiation.
- Want a confidential, less adversarial process than going to court.
- Prefer to control the outcome rather than have a judge decide.
Important to note: mediators facilitate agreements but usually do not prepare or file court forms. That responsibility still falls to the parties or a separate service/attorney.
When a DIY divorce is the right choice
A DIY divorce works best when you and your spouse already agree on everything—division of assets and debts, support, custody and parenting time (if applicable), and other terms. If there’s full agreement, the task becomes administrative: preparing accurate paperwork, filing with the court, serving papers correctly, completing required disclosures, and getting the judgment finalized.
Benefits of DIY in that situation:
- Lower overall cost than hiring attorneys for negotiation.
- Faster resolution when paperwork is prepared and filed promptly.
- No court appearances if the case is uncontested and the judge signs off on the judgment.
Common pitfall: mediators don’t file your forms
Here’s a real-world example I see often: a San Bernardino couple paid for mediation, reached an agreement, and assumed the mediator would prepare and file the court paperwork. They were surprised to learn the mediator did not provide that service. They came to Divorce661 and we handled everything — paperwork, filing, service, disclosures — and had their judgment approved in just a few weeks.
The lesson: confirm in advance exactly what services your mediator provides. If paperwork filing isn’t included, you’ll still need someone to complete and submit the legal documents correctly.
What DIY entails (step-by-step)
- Confirm full agreement between both parties on all issues.
- Prepare the required California court forms accurately.
- File the initial forms with the San Bernardino County court.
- Serve the other party (if necessary) and complete proof of service.
- Exchange mandatory financial disclosures and any required documents.
- Submit the final judgment paperwork and any accompanying agreements for the judge’s approval.
Missing or incorrect paperwork, improper service, or incomplete disclosures are the usual reasons DIY divorces get delayed or rejected.
Risks of DIY without professional guidance
- Filling out the wrong forms or making errors that delay approval.
- Failing to perform proper service or missing deadlines.
- Overlooking legal requirements (e.g., disclosures) that can invalidate an agreement.
- Underestimating tax consequences or failing to address retirement accounts correctly.
How Divorce661 helps
At Divorce661 we provide a full-service solution for amicable divorces in California. If you’re already in agreement, we’ll take care of everything from start to finish so you avoid the common DIY pitfalls:
- Preparing and filing all court forms with San Bernardino County
- Service of process and proof of service
- Preparing and exchanging disclosures
- Submitting the final judgment for approval
- Flat-fee pricing with no surprise attorney bills
- Referrals to mediators if you still need help negotiating
If you need a mediator, we can refer you. If you already have an agreement, we can skip mediation and save you time and money by handling the paperwork correctly the first time.
How to decide: mediation or DIY?
Ask yourself these questions:
- Do we agree on all major issues? If yes, DIY with professional filing help could be fastest and cheapest.
- Do we need help negotiating or resolving disputes? If yes, mediation is likely necessary.
- Are we comfortable preparing and filing legal forms ourselves? If not, hire a service to avoid costly mistakes.
- Are there complex assets, taxes, or custody issues that need legal expertise? Consider professional help beyond basic DIY.
Conclusion and next steps
If you’re filing for divorce in San Bernardino County and want a clear, affordable path, let’s talk. We offer a free consultation to help you choose the best option and make sure everything is done right the first time. Visit divorce661.com to schedule your consultation and learn more about flat-fee, full-service divorce help.
Which option sounds right for your situation—mediation or DIY divorce? Reach out and we’ll help you decide the best path forward.
